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Bio Writer, editor. Eater, drinker. Reader, watcher. Cat lover, dog person. edit & tweet @mental_floss. Words @ WIRED, Condé Nast Traveler & more. Tweets 17,7K Followers 22,5K Following 3,6K Account created 01-02-2012 01:33:10 ID 480021451
iPhone : Who decided this?
iPhone : I know it’s Saturday afternoon, but let’s get at least *one* more button buttoned here.
iPhone : People realizing that #Chernobyl wasn’t a documentary.
Twitter Web Client : CHERNOBYL (2019) Cinematography by Jakob Ihre Directed by Johan Renck
Twitter Web Client : James L. Menzies You know damn well what a TARDIS is—and how it's spelled.
Twitter Web Client : How amazing would it be to have dinner with Alice Morgan and Villannelle?
Twitter Web Client : Molly Jong-Fast Meanwhile, his "adult" son has yet to master the whole sitting thing.
Twitter Web Client : Erin McCarthy James L. Menzies
Twitter Web Client : As a married, straight woman, let me just say that: Zoë Kravitz is painfully stunning!
iPhone : Rolling into Monday like...
Twitter Web Client : When she told him she had thrown a cake at him, he was relieved. He had woken up in the backseat of his car, covere… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Twitter Web Client : 5. Before they were married, he got drunk on my mom's birthday but insisted he could drive. In order to get his key… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Twitter Web Client : 4. He once found a guy trying to break into his car... then proceeded to try and "spear" him with a fluorescent tub… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Twitter Web Client : 3. He once mistook his vibrating cell phone for a raccoon attacking him... while he drove.
Twitter Web Client : 2. If he called you a "fucking asshole," that was not a compliment.
Twitter Web Client : 1. If he called you an "asshole," that was a compliment.
Twitter Web Client : It's been just over 3 months since my dad passed away, so this is the first time in [redacted] years that I can't w… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
iPhone : Me: [giggling] Him: Are you laughing because that guy’s name is Butts? Me: [laughs harder] Him: How old are you? Me… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
Twitter Web Client : My favorite part of the colitis medication commercial is when the guy is able to ride a tree swing, diarrhea-free.
iPhone : 98% of perfume/cologne commercials are over my head.
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